had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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