I only kidnapped one of them. chill
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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