if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Panties = found
Randomize
