I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
