I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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