The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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