Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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