plz talk dirty to me
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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