You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
