Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Alive.
So much puke
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
