btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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