I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
