Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize