i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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