Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
