the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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