Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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