Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
