Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
