I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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