Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
