God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
