i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
a search helicopter?!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
