Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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