i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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