One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
