Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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