Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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