just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
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Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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