Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
