I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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