Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
