i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
