Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
