i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
