hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
