This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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