k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
