I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
