So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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