I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
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Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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