Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
