Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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