More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
