i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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