She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
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I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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