Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
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You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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