dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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