I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
