Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
