Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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