Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
well, you know. whores of a feather.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
