Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
