I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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