i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
