I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
That's when you crack a 10am beer
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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