i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
