Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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