4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
