I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
