Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
