If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!