I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
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I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
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She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.