dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.