Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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